THERE ARE NO RULES

THERE ARE NO MORE RULES. NO MORE RESTRICTIONS. I POSTED SOME RANDOM PHOTOS AT THE BOTTOM TO SHOW HOW FREE I AM.

I don’t have to blog anymore, but I like talking so that’s what I’ll do. I think I’ll try and continue my blog throughout the summer. I start my summer job “Totus Tuus” teaching kids about Jesus all across the Grand Island diocese this Saturday and I will travel to a different town and parish each week, so a weekly update seems like it could be fun. More on that later.

For now, I want to fill you in on what’s going on presently. Our entire study abroad group has said goodbye to one another and we are officially done with the program. Some of us are home, some of us are currently traveling home, and the rest of us are in Europe for a few more days. I am in Strasbourg, France with a couple others until Wednesday, where I’ll travel with an overnight bus to Prague, stay there for the night, and catch my flight back to the glorious USA. That’s my plan, so if any of you want to bring me some Jimmy John’s or anything else, really, be at the Omaha airport at roughly 11:20pm, Friday night.

Let me tell you about the French. If you’re walking, you are considered a third class citizen, basically. An exaggeration of course, but biking is considered the only acceptable way of transportation here. The bike paths are nice, clean, centered, well kept all throughout the town. The walking paths are adjacent to the biking paths and have you weaving around poles and trees, walking through mud and gunk, bumpy and unpaved walkways, etc. You get honked at, and even insulted (I think) if you’re walking. I’m not entirely sure. This man was upset because I was walking and/or American. Jokes on him though, his spandex made him look silly.

I tried taking a nap in the park, but a bug flew on my nose. I’m pretty sure it tried to have babies on my face.

I tried to order a ham and cheese sandwich at a deli, they gave me bread and cheese. But it was only 3 euros so that’s cool.

I tried to take the bus to town, but for some reason they wouldn’t take my Czech korunas. I walked 2 miles instead.

I saw this really beautiful Catholic Church. Turns out, it was taken over by the Protestants in the Protestant-Catholic debacle, which is fine, but the church is indefinitely closed due to lack of maintenance. Also a homeless man outside the church asked me for money and I almost laughed, which is horrible, but I don’t have any money.

It’s 95 degrees here. I have to sit outside to cool off because my AirBnB doesn’t have AC. I think I was sweating in my cold shower. 

I can’t grow a mustache. Or a beard. Or a self-confidence.

That’s about it. I’m ready to go home, though. See you in 4 days, America 🇺🇸.

If Colin was a bunny

If someone asks to write on your arm, make sure you watch them

11/12

24 Reasons Why

Believe it or not, I don’t think I have much to say. I feel I’ve exhausted all of the topics worth communicating. Houston, we do have a problem. I don’t know if you know much about this study abroad group. With that, I haven’t told you much about the people with whom I’ve been privileged to spend this time. Let me tell you a little bit about this family we’ve formed. I’ll call it, “24 Reasons Why (I Came to Europe)”

Abbie Graham, an always happy, spontaneous shopper that loves wholeheartedly 

Abe Dush, the “Dad” of the group, always putting others before him

Alison VanSkiver, one of the most personable and friendly people out there

Ashley Florer, a great storyteller and knows how to surprise people

Ashtyn Bratt, definitely not a brat, and is probably one of the nicest people here

Audrey Gay, a person known for the miracle and spectacle that is her golden locks

Bailey Hoadley, a person that won’t shy away from any situation and will make it fun

Bryce Newton, one of the calmest guys you’ll meet, but he hates my jokes

Colin Reuter, a guy that isn’t afraid of being ridiculous to make the group laugh

Erin Lewis, someone who often goes out of her way to say “good morning” or “how are ya?,” traits that are rare nowadays

Halie Platt, if you want to know facts or find gelato, she’s your girl

Houston Arens, I make funny faces

Kody Krantz, a man who will do anything for his brothers, and even more for his country

Leslie Masek, a crazy spout of energy that always can keep the spirits up and conversations going

Livia Dwornicki, a proud Pole that will pity laugh at your jokes and can show anyone how to dance anywhere 

Luke Fennessy, can flip bottles and man a ship, can be adored and mutinied simultaneously

Matt Luther, a man of few words, a Rubik’s cube of complexity, but endeared by all

Miranda Ketteler, a person who is not afraid of sticking up for her beliefs in the face of strangers

Mitch Kampschnieder, a man who will sacrifice time to accompany anyone on anything to ensure every adventure is a great one

Rachel Vetter, a recruit from UNL that is happiest when she has a coffee in one hand and a gelato in the other, or at a Husker game

Sammy Harper, a man that will always be dressed better than you and could never say a bad word about anyone

Shaina Fouts, known primarily for her love of small doggos, this girl will find strawberry juice anywhere and is the epitome of joy when it is found 

Taylor Ritz, outspoken and cherished by many here, she is always ready to participate in lectures, adventures, and conspiracy theories

Tessa Gale, known for her catchphrase, “Wooowwwww,” Tessa has a gentle heart and enjoys conversing with anyone

And there’s a few bonus reasons: Tereza is a Ph.D student that was tasked with guiding us all these weeks, taking us to the doctor, booking trips, and translating our drink orders. We call her “Mom.”

Martin and Jan co-direct this program and they constantly enlightened us with history, facts, and tidbits about topics ranging from their lives to the Holocaust.

And Dr. Snider treated 24 young college kids in a foreign land, free reign, like adults and with ultimate respect, to which I hope we returned.

There are many other reasons I could add: my friends and family for support, Globus for cheap gummy worms, our Czech teacher for doing her best to try and teach this monster of a language, but the list would never end. I wish I had more jokes for you all, but maybe it’s best that this last post be a serious one, because I’ll seriously miss this adventure. Goodbyes are incredibly difficult for me and as I write this, there are only four of us left in Olomouc. That makes this more bitter than sweet.  So, that’s it. Goodbye. 

This semester was nuts; I’ll cashew you on the other side.

(HA, you thought I’d end without a joke).

Na shledanou!

– houston arens

Thunderstruck

I get the opportunity for a free topic blog this week and since everyone else is covering our trip to Auschwitz, I want to do something a little different. I want to share with you all my observations and thoughts on Europe so far.

Let me get the rough part out of the way first. You spend essentially the entire trip with some form of limitation. You take a day-trip to Poland and you don’t have any of their currency. You go to a nice Italian restaurant but they do not understand what you want to order because they do not speak English. You try to find a nice outing for a beautiful day in May but all of the attractions and courses are only offered in Czech. You start running low on money and you can’t make any while you’re here. Your laptop hard drive crashes and you have to type blogs on your phone. You want some time to think, to rest, to relax but there’s always someone around. And sometimes you want a beer in the morning, but you have church in 40 minutes.

Now, that’s the downside, here are all of the upsides. If you start missing Qdoba or Chipotle (or Moe’s, but who misses Moe’s?), there’s a $4 burrito place right next to the classroom. If you miss your family and friends, there are always places to go to FaceTime them and instantly be reunited. If you want to go to some random country just because, just book a ticket and go. If you want to play sports or go for a run, there is an assortment of parks, courts, courses just a few tram stops away. If you want to go to a water park, play laser tag, or dance the night away, put $20 in your pocket and you will not be disappointed. If you’re bored, there’s 23 new family members here with you that are always up to play cards, grab a drink, chat, or have an all guys slumber party in Abe’s room.

And that’s just Olomouc. A small, cozy town halfway across the globe.

After spending two months and two days here, you start to realize that maybe it isn’t so different here. Yeah, the coffees are smaller and the beer is cheaper, but you forget about that after a while. At first, everything is so immensely different that you aren’t quite sure which way is up, sideways, or yesterday. You’re entirely foreign. As time goes on, however, those large differences become smaller and smaller until they just become the norm. People still drink coffee here, people still eat hamburgers here, people still show love here. Granted, they still don’t say “excuse me” or “ope” like I ranted about in a previous blog, but nonetheless, they do what they do, and we start to do what they do too.

Oh, you thought I was going to just have one deep, meaningful post about my wonderful time in Europe? Na-na-na-na-na-na-na (that’s Batman). Bloopers. I once ran into a door because most entrances here are push doors here, EXCEPT FOR THE ONE I TRIED TO PUSH BUT IT WAS A PULL. I fake run into signs often and everyone knows I’m faking, except for one girl that thought I was serious the entire time. She still thinks I’m a clutzy person, probably. Snails are a delicacy here too, so Abe stepped on one and crushed it “by accident.” One person bought chicken nuggets here shaped like dinosaurs. Na-na-na-na-na-na (Batman), these were fish nuggets. Learn Czech, it helps. They put a sweet sauce on McChickens here. It’s not ketchup. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta (or the cheapest “noodles” available at Globus). If enough people get bronchitis or pneumonia, you aren’t expected to do to well in Czech class the next day. If a girl doesn’t know how to swing dance, don’t dip her. She won’t like it, she’ll say “DON’T DO THAT” and will run away. And if you go to Club 19, you will be thunderstruck. We’re all a little thunderstruck here: bright, loud, and a little struck by how much we’ve come to love this place.

And again, that’s just Olomouc.

– houston arens

Excuse me, are you Polish?

This is my field trip blog (this message included for grading purposes).

We had to take a field trip to Krakow, Poland this weekend and I think we truly bonded as a group. Let me walk and talk you through this.

We started off at the Salt Mines not too far from Krakow. It’s only a few hours from our hometown of Olomouc so the trip went swiftly. Down in these deep salty depths, we were escorted on a guided tour through walls and tunnels made up of almost entirely salt. Our tour guide said we could lick the walls, so we did.​ I have attached a video of a pretty intimate moment between me and Wall-e. This mine has multiple Catholic chapels and ballrooms and event spaces. It’s truly incredible that such a tasty tunnel wall could lead to such glorious spaces.

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After our trip to the mines (and my goodbye to Wall-e) we finished our trek to Krakow where we checked into our hostel and watched UNK’s graduation ceremony to celebrate Alison and Taylor’s (two of my wonderfully fun study abroad pals) graduation. We also got to watch all of our friends from back home grab their diplomas and turn their tassels. In those moments I truly wished I did not have to be in Europe any longer; I wanted to be with my family and friends and be there for and with them on their special day.

That longing to be home did not linger. Most of us traveled to a Mexican restaurant to celebrate Cinco de Mayo with margaritas and some of the spiciest fajitas and enchiladas we’ve ever had. This led to a slew of tears, laughs, genuine feelings of imminent spice death, and instant regret. We were all in Cinco de Mayo hysteria and everything was perfect.

We eventually found our way to a couple Polish bars and clubs to get a feel for the nightlife. Everything was very calm and easy to figure out and we continued to just enjoy each other’s company. We found a club that had essentially just us in the dance area and the DJ literally would play whatever song we wanted, whenever we wanted it. We danced all the way into our hostel room where all nine of the guys got to have a slumber party and into Saturday.

This was a much more somber day, we toured Schindler’s factory. Oscar Schindler was a businessman during World War II and by employing hundreds and hundreds of people, he saved them from inevitable death at Nazi concentration camps. We were given a break for lunch and rest and then given a tour of the city center where some of us were able to attend mass at one of the most beautiful cathedrals I have seen. We were able to steal a reservation at a club (literally, we sat down and hid the sign that said “reserved”) later that night and again just hang out and enjoy the company.

Our final day consisted of a tour of some governmental buildings and housings. Nothing truly spectacular other than some tapestries depicting biblical scenes and Polish ideologies. We then hit the road for home and that was Poland. Surprisingly, I did not see any more poles than I do in America. I think I saw less, but I almost ran into one. It wasn’t a heavy one, just a light pole.

I don’t normally have cut-and-dry narratives, but a blog about a field trip is a little tricky. But, here is my takeaway: Poland is nice. Krakow is at least. We all felt fairly safe and confident in our excursions to restaurants and other outings. We were able to enjoy many laughs (Oskar is sometimes spelled with a ‘c’, you know, Coskar). Poles take their spices seriously, so be prepared when you order spicy. Never try sleeping with a chair cradled in your arms. Club 19 has the best game of Thunderstruck. If someone comes up to you at 3am and says “excuse me, are you Polish?,” just say “yes.” Never share a churro with another guy. Sometimes you sing too much so you have to do sit-ups. Marco Pollo is way more fun than Marco Polo (ba-kawk). Know that there is a difference between poles and Poles, then make all of the jokes to your Polish roommate (I think Abe is bitter about being white Pole and not a light pole).

If you want to know what happens when you’re asked if you’re Polish, listen to John Mulaney with this link:

The gist is this: Barney and I have said it before, it’s not legendary unless your friends are there to see it. Luckily, my study abroad family was there to learn all those lessons with me.

P.S. If your tour guide tells you to not lick a statue of a certain man, do it when she’s not looking. He’ll taste great. Follow me on Snapchat (@Houstace11) for more salt-licking and other crazy adventures as I finish up in Europe.

– houston arens

(my Venmo is still @Houston-Arens 😉)

The Inter(national)actions with the Locals

If you’ve been keeping up with my interactions with the locals so far, you may have a rough estimate of how I feel towards them. You’re also probably wrong.

Although annoyed at us sometimes, the Czech people in Olomouc are great and wonderful and speak just enough English to make our interactions pleasant and less stressful. It’s when they don’t interact (which is rude) that irritates me, but that is very much the less common scenario. We’ve gotten really good at always saying “thank you” and “sorry” in Czech profusely so the locals know we are trying and we found out that trying goes a long way in being kind and courteous. Our Czech language class facilitates proper interactions. It has gotten to the point where some waiters, staffers, workers won’t even realize we aren’t locals until they spring something new on us. This morning I ordered a large coffee, asked for no cream or sugar, and listened so I could pay in exact change, all in Czech. A normal interaction for the barista until she asked something I did not understand (if I wanted it to-go or to stay). I had to respond with the embarrassing word of defeat “English?” She look shocked and confused and repeated to me in English how I wanted my coffee. However, there was a genuine look in her eye that I interpreted as genuine appreciation or respect for trying my best there. I didn’t find her too attractive though so I didn’t bother showing off and saying my phone number in Czech (jedna-čtyrí-nula-dva-osm-čtyrí-jedna-xxxx). Shallow, I know. But I like my women like I like my jokes: not this one.

While we’re on the topic of women, let’s talk more about another interaction with one of them. I was at the club one night and this lady in a red dress punched me in the back. I thought this was an aggressive gesture asking me to cool it with my dance moves (I just flail, basically). So I calmed my tornado arms and went back to conversing. My flatmate Niko saw the whole interaction and knew her and when I talked to him the next day, he informed me that she was actually flirting and was too shy to talk or ask me to dance. Two things here: 1. I somehow attracted a female woman person; 2. She was too shy to ask, but not too shy to punch.

Here are my takeaway analyses. People naturally act and behave differently over here. Whether it be subtle flirtations, aggressive tram shoving, or trying to order a meal deal and subbing the chips for a cookie, unless you completely submerse yourself in a new location for an elongated period of time, you will not interact with people the way that is customary. I am still getting used to carrying a bunch of exact change because people do not like being handed bills that require giving you a couple coins of change. I am still trying to ride the trams without having to hold on the the rails. I am still trying to scout out the pubs and restaurants that are no-smoking safe havens. I am still trying read into American politics (it’s huge here; they hate Trump, but their president loves him).

I should include some photos, but it’d be weird to go back to that barista or red dress lady and say “hey, smile and look like we’re interacting!” But sometimes, you’ll walk into a random pub with no one but you and your group inside, meet a Czech magician (part-time bartender) that loves the Cleveland Browns (ouch), and he’ll magically make the card you signed upon entry magically be removed from inbetween your friend’s hand and onto his face. This magician may just become your study abroad group’s hero and the next greatest magician. You just have to interact with these people, and maybe they’ll leave you with a lasting memory (and autograph).

If these are interactions, what’s an intra-action? Thoughts?

Czech Language

“Pivo?” Pivo.

Pivo? “PIVO!”

That was the only word the guys and I on this trip would say for a while. And we understood each other perfectly.

We have been in Olomouc, Czech Republic for just under a full week now and we have been bombarded by locals spitting out Czech like rapid-fire. Constantly we are surrounded by a flurry of new words and phrases and none of us know what we are seeing, saying, or ordering, for that matter. Except pivo. We learned immediately pivo is Czech for “beer” and that it is the cheapest beverage by far, so pivos took up a lot of our bonding time. A glass of water (voda) will run you about double the price of a pivo.

Many pivos for the men (pàni)

It did not take us long to realize that we were a nuisance to the places we visited if we could not communicate with the locals here; we quickly started asking anyone with the ability to translate for basic phrases and words. We asked about please (prosím), thank you (dekuju), yes and no (ano, ne). Our vocabulary was limited but we could at least have basic manners and communicate the rest of the world with some body language and signing, pointing, and gesturing.

Earlier this week we had our first class that would introduce us to the language. We came in with excitement and were ready to finally learn how to communicate with the people we will be adapting to over the next months. Immediately, our professor began rattling of phrases in Czech and we were left in a daze. This would be difficult, we learned. However, she had mercy on us. She began teaching us the alphabet and all the different sounds the new letters make (there’s about 15 extra letters). The next thing I know I was riding the shuttle back to our dorms trying to read all of the different signs, directions, and tags I saw. Once you understand what sound each letter makes, you are able to read Czech easily, even if you do not understand the word itself.

St. Michael the Archangel’s Church, Downtown Olomouc

None of us know how to say “nice” or “beautiful” yet, but we went on a church-hopping tour and it was “dobré (good).” Apparently the Czech language is one of the hardest to learn because you see words like “prst (finger)” and “čtvrtek (Thursday)”and your immediate thought is “why do they hate vowels so much?” But the Czech people are very proud of their language and I am nervous, anxious, and excited to begin to learn it more fully.

“Voda?”

Ne. Prosím, pivo.

 

 

-houston arens, pivo extraordinaire